I hear people apologizing for being white, for speaking in broken English, for their gender identity, for not knowing everything. REALLY!!!

If you behave inappropriately, if you say something offensive, if you do something you regret – absolutely, apologize. But, who you are as a human being walking this planet is never something to apologize for. 

If you don’t understand this, then let me give it to you straight. We, ALL of us, at our core are loving humans! We, ALL of us, are smart, beautiful, supportive, valuable, dynamically amazing, and powerful beyond belief. Wake up to this. Stop playing small!

Marianne Williamson said it best: “Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine… We were born to make manifest the glory of God [Universe, Consciousness, Higher Power] that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

How can you help others, how can you support your community, how can you be your best self when you are denouncing your very existence?! Helping others or making others feel better is not about denouncing who you are or minimizing yourself. It’s about raising everyone up to a higher level of self-value and worth. Including yourself.

You cannot benefit others by wallowing in their pain. This is called over-empathizing. It’s like trying to save someone from drowning while you are drowning. You’re reinforcing the exact challenge they’re trying to rise above. Over-empathizing can be just as detrimental as under-empathizing and actually contributes to the momentum of pain and suffering by reinforcing others’ powerlessness, victimhood, and helplessness. 

If you want to help, support people by reinforcing their strength, capabilities, and unique values and see them as the amazing people you know they are or can be. Start by acknowledging, embracing, loving, and accepting yourself first. Then, and only then, will you be able to acknowledge, embrace, love, and accept others.

You are of most benefit to others when you can hold space, standing firmly in the power of “you know they’ve got this,” shining the spotlight on their amazing existence. When you hold people in this light, when we join in our strength, humanity changes.