My reality is different than yours even if it was a shared experience. Awareness is my awareness of me. If I’m aware of you and what’s going on with you, I only have an awareness of me in relation to you. It’s my perception created through my life’s filter of what I know and believe to be true about you.

For example, my sister and I grew up in the same household, same father, mother, and siblings. I think our upbringing was fine. Her perspective was that it was totally dysfunctional. Why so opposite? We’re different people with different perspectives, different experiences, and different data collection points. We perceived the same events in very different ways. She is insistent that hers is the correct version and at every chance negates my positive memories. But, it’s not up to me to convince her of my reality or that mine was right and hers was wrong. They are both valid realities.

My awareness will always come through my filter and hers through her filter. I cannot impose my awareness on her any more that she can impose her awareness on me. There is a difference between her reality and my reality, and we can’t assume we’re experiencing it as the same reality.

We can, however, come together and learn from each other. I can share and explain my experiences/perspectives and gain an understanding of hers. We can also learn more about our own through hearing about each other’s. That doesn’t change our memories or negate one another’s. That doesn’t change what each of us have experienced. They both happened.

Yet, my perspective isn’t more valid than anyone else’s nor does my experience trump or negate anyone else’s or dictate how they should perceive theirs and vice versa.

We cannot deny people of their experiences because we didn’t live them. I did not live my sister’s reality, so I don’t know what is true for her. I only know what is true for me. And, I can only understand her reality through the lens of my perspective. I cannot fully adopt her perspectives to experience the world with. (Physicists/scientists/artificial intelligence haven’t figured out how to do that yet.)

In the meantime, here are some questions you can ask yourself if you are triggered by what others are experiencing:

• Why am I feeling this way about what you are experiencing? What does it mean for me? What can I do about it?
• What do I need to do to feel better when someone else is doing something that I don’t like? (This comes from a place of Love and Personal Responsibility^TM .) What am I avoiding being aware of that would help me with this?
• Is there a different perspective I could adopt to increase my appreciation/understanding for what someone else is experiencing?