Your innate value does not come from what you do. If it did and you assign your value/identity to your job and then lose that position, you’ve lost not only your job but you’ve lost your identity too.

Throughout life you may have been told to put your dishes in the sink ‘cause good little boys and girls put their dishes in the sink. Putting dishes away has nothing to do with whether or not you’re a good person. Dishes are put away because you like a clean house.

Valuing someone because of their actions distorts their perspective of themselves. They start thinking that what they do makes them good or bad, worthy or unworthy. It makes value an external thing and makes who they are a function of what they do and of how others perceive them.

Go to college so you can become “something” or “make something of yourself.” This implies that you’re nothing if you don’t go to college. You do not have to go to college to be a valuable person. Go to college because you’re inspired and want to expand your mind and refine your passion.

Eat healthy so you don’t get fat. Eat healthy because you want your body, mind, and spirit energized and running optimally.

You are a good person no matter what. If you’re a straight “D” student, if you don’t go to college, if you drive a loud, rusty car that blows smoke, if you don’t go to church, you still ARE a good person. Because you exist you are good.

When we start placing conditions or value judgments on others’ behavior (including our children), they quickly learn that they need to do things to fit in and to please others. That who they are isn’t enough. That what they want is difficult to obtain and acceptance only comes from outside themselves. They lose sight that who they are and what they want comes from within. Looking to society for acceptance or to determine who they are only causes identity confusion.

Everyone has their own agenda for YOUR life; parents, friends, bosses, teachers. That’s why it’s important to make sure you are solid in your own agenda.