Have you ever felt like you are in a holding pattern? Waiting for a job to start, a degree to finish, a child to arrive, the season to start, your big break…

Have you ever felt like you couldn’t enjoy yourself in the current moment because you were worried you would miss something to prepare for the aforementioned?

This loop begins to form where my thoughts say, “You should be doing something else,” but the days don’t go any faster and guilt and shame begin to occupy that space. I think I’m not taking myself seriously enough, if something falls through the cracks, because I wasn’t focused on my “goals.” Then right back to my thoughts telling me again what I should be doing.

I am in a holding pattern right now and it feels like I have lost some zest for life. My holding pattern has me waiting for the next thing. I can’t be present if I am constantly consumed by guilt associated with preparing properly. I am unable to feel good about taking my kids to the park because I am worried I will miss the next big idea or forget to check another item off the to-do list.

My thoughts and emotions are running my H-IOS and this is that holding pattern feeling. It is me out of alignment with my Inner Truth and my thoughts and emotions run the show. So how can I get back on track?

Awareness. Forgiveness. Action.

I am aware that something isn’t feeling right, thanks feelings. I forgive myself for the guilt and shame I am feeling because they’re just feelings. I am ready for action.

My in-road to realignment is checking in with my Inner Truth and behaving in a way that honors IT. Then my thoughts have no choice but to fall back in line. The past twenty-four hours has been more enjoyable. The kid’s bedtime stories have been taken to a new level, voices and sound effects (not needed according to my eldest) are back in full gear. I finished the book I wanted to finish, and it was rewarding, even though it was fiction. *gasp*

It’s feeling better. And better, is better than where I was. And for now, that’s a victory.