I’ve got a lot of errant energy these days… Our season was cancelled with over half to go and, in an instant, a years’ worth of preparation and hard work was misplaced. Now all this energy I have habitually given to this sports program this time of year is bouncing around inside my head and our quarantined house.

At first, the novelty of the situation was interesting, new and almost enjoyable. Now all this “free time” is crushing my soul. With everything in limbo, and no real direction to be found in regards to my volleyball life it is tough to stay focused on what I have gained with this forced isolation.

I have gained family time, mental space and a disruption from the norm. These are opportunities should I choose to see them that way. Almost a week ago, I didn’t want to see them this way. I wanted to feel the soul crushing. I wanted to grieve for what I have lost. After the grief, I can then orientate myself and move forward in an accepting and creative manner.

The pity parties I throw myself are exactly what I need to move forward in my way. I am aware of them. And because I am aware of them, it is my choice to stay in them. It is my responsibility to stay in the crap and keep influencing the people around me with it or say enough is enough and move on.

Well, enough is enough…

My grieving period (pity party) is ending and I am ready to take on the challenges that lie ahead.