The Myth of Work/Life Balance
The Myth of Work/Life Balance
It really is a myth. I’m sure you’ve all seen the life balance wheels. It’s like a pie with different slices representing an aspect of life such as career, relationships, etc. The premise is to balance the pieces as closely as possible. I’ve seen everyone from Tony Robbins to Dale Carnegie using them. We at THRIVE use them too as they’re quite useful for illustrating various points.
However, if someone tells you you can have all the pieces of the pie in balance, run like the wind. The fact of the matter is we’re always robbing from Peter to pay Paul. If I have an important deadline, all my time goes into that deadline. So I pull from one aspect of my life to fulfill an obligation in another. If I have a networking dinner with clients, I’m missing dinner with my family. If I volunteer at my church, I’m taking time away from other things. Or, if I’m taking care of an aging parent, everything but the essentials are put on hold.
So, what’s the big push behind work/life balance and why have we bought into it as though it were the latest pet rock? Well, it’s a catchy phrase if nothing else. It’s also a phrase that has sent the vast majority of us on a hamster wheel trying to achieve this unobtainable state and beating ourselves up for not being there.
It all boils down to getting sh_t done! ‘Cause the fact of the matter is… sometimes we need to get sh_t done, whether we want to or not. So we’ve sent ourselves out on this aimless quest to find more enjoyment because our entire being is crying out for something more than the spark in the hayfield to-do list.
And exactly what is it that we’re searching for on this quest…
FUN! . . . FUN! . . . FUN!
And more of it. We’re starving for it. We want excitement, zest, and joy. And the closest we’ve been able to come to it is this “work/life” balance thing. So, why don’t we just tell our bosses, “Dude, I’ve been working my butt off and frankly I need more fun! So, screw this work/life balance thing, I’m having fun!”
Well, we all know that will get us a very large cup of jack-squat.
So now what?
Well, the long and short of it is to infuse more fun into your life. Infuse it whenever you can and into whatever you’re doing. The more rewarding you can make every experience, the more balance you’ll naturally feel in life.
But remember if all else fails, at least try to change your perspectives.
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The Art of Acknowledgement
The Art of Acknowledgement
“Everybody needs an attaboy once in awhile” my Coach and THRIVE! Teammate, Jill Baake, said to me one afternoon as she was coaching me through a minor meltdown.
These words resurfaced again for me as we were discussing the art of acknowledgement in our Human Progress Training.
Acknowledgement is the art of seeing what is right, focusing on what IS working. It is taking a highlighter and highlighting all the parts that are right. Acknowledgement is not only a key tool we use in coaching, but also an amazing way to move through life.
What we focus on expands. Seeing the good and calling it to attention for people is such a powerful way for them to connect and own their greatness.
Even as a Coach and a student of personal growth, I need those acknowledgements just as much as the next person. As we were discussing acknowledgement as a key component of communication skills, I began to notice myself going into judgement mode. I started judging myself hard: “Wow, I’m not so good at acknowledgements,” “This must mean I’m not a good coach,” “I feel like a failure,” down the rabbit hole I went. Once I became aware of what I was doing, I consciously made the choice to not judge myself for judging myself. I let it be and it didn’t feel awesome, but I knew there was learning and growing to come.
Later that day the moment of realization hit me. The reason I was struggling with acknowledgement was because I wasn’t giving this precious gift to myself.
Everything that shows up in our external world is in some way a reflection of what’s going on inside of us.
How could I truly acknowledge others when I wasn’t doing it for myself?
Since this realization, my focus has been on practicing the art of acknowledgement with myself. With this practice, I believe I not only enhance my life, but the lives of those around me. As my ability to acknowledge myself grows, so does my capacity to see the greatness in all those around me.
Everybody needs an attaboy (or girl)! The more we are acknowledged for what is working in our lives, the more we are able to step into our power. From a place of personal power we can truly own and live authentic and fulfilling lives.
As we like to say at THRIVE!, “You’re doing it! Attaboy, you’re doing it!!!”
Playing With The Author ~ Emily Watson
Hello! I recently finished the THRIVE! Coach Certification Program and am now enjoying a new way of life. I wanted to become a coach to help people, and what I realized through my training is that this had to start with me. The THRIVE! Coach Certification Program taught me to go within, to connect with my truest deepest self. Whether you’re seeking to be a coach or just make your life a whole lot better, the THRIVE Coach Certification Program is where it’s at!
Contact me at [email protected].
“I’m Goin’ In!”
One of the things we do really well at THRIVE! is help people realize that they have within them an amazing life-navigator toolbox. It’s filled with life lessons, strategies, coping skills, and road maps that have gotten them through every sticky mess and every jubilant celebration that they’ve ever experienced. And each new life adventure adds new tools to the box.
So this week’s message is simple. Go in. Every situation, every stress, every frustration is most effectively navigated from going inside, exploring your toolbox, looking for new tools, and responding from your internal place of confidence and self management.
Obnoxious coworker getting in your way at work? Go in. They do not need fixing. You have the power within you to position yourself and positively influence without the coworker’s behavior changing at all.
Kids making choices that baffle you? Go in. Manage what is happening inside of you and expand your understanding of your triggers and responses. Lead by example.
Life not going your way? Go in. What are you really feeling and how can you move forward and experience things differently?
Feeling confused? Go in. The answer is not more money or a better relationship or a smaller waistline. You are the only one that can discover the truth of your journey. You are the only one that can learn how to navigate the ups and downs of your life.
Go ahead… try it on. Whatever you’re working on in your life right now, can you challenge yourself to go in?
Learning to go inside and take full responsibility for ourselves can be scary. THRIVE! can help you learn how to explore your toolbox, trust your insights, and take calculated action from your personal power. These are learnable and practicable skills that you can use to get yourself through whatever shows up in your life.
What Makes You Come Alive?
By Lori Kuhn
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” – Howard Thurman
What makes you come alive? (I’m not referring to sex, people).
If you don’t know your answer, you’re not alone. In society, we can get caught up in the grind and lose touch with life’s joy- the things that truly inspire us.
When you let yourself come alive, your higher mind says, “WOO HOO, DO THIS! DO THIS!” It is the ultimate energy generator that will keep you moving forward.
Do you remember an experience of being so alive that you feel invincible?
The excitement of being “in your flow” is a complete experience. It contains everything you need to experience the moment. When there, you understand life unfolds in harmonious ways.
When you are not there, life provides a reflective mirror to help you see what is getting in your way. To propel yourself forward, identify it and let it go.
Acting on your excitement is something that clears out things that are not in line with your highest good. Then you can address beliefs that are no longer serving you. Where we go wrong is we see these issues as obstacles that can’t be overcome or let them deter us from our greatest excitement. We inadvertently allow them to prevent us from moving forward. They’re not there to prevent us from moving forward. On the contrary, obstacles are there so we can look at them and decide how we can use them (or release them) so we can move forward. They show us what beliefs need to be addressed so we can become better versions of ourselves. They are navigational tools that can be used to guide us to where we want to be.
Following your excitement or your passion does not have to be a major life decision, but it is common to think it does. Then, we don’t make a decision. It’s too overwhelming. Too committing. Too ambiguous.
The solution? Break decisions down into manageable pieces. Follow your passion moment-to-moment, day-by-day. Overwhelming decisions become manageable and clear.
A tool to do this: Ask yourself…”In this moment, with all all the options available to me, what do I want to do most? What will make me feel the best?”
Then do it. Do the one that evokes the most excitement. Do the one that you have the most capability to act on in that moment.
The more you decide to follow your excitement, the more exciting opportunities will avail themselves to you.