PROMISES, RESPONSIBILITIES, AND OBLIGATIONS, “OH, MY!”
What is your responsibility to others? What is your responsibility to yourself? You are responsible for you, your kids, your sanity, and a million other things lawyers will tell you you’re responsible for. But what do you believe is true for you?
I’m the financial power of attorney for my elderly father, a commitment I made many years ago. When asked, my response was a resounding, “Yes, of course, I’d do anything for my Dad!” Besides, how hard could it be?
Ah yes, there’s more to the story… left out of the agreement with my dad… left out of any wildly imaginative thought… left out of not only the picture but the entire story was… the obligation to handle my sister’s finances too. Yiiikes!!!
My sister became the primary caregiver for my Dad, which seemed like a good fit at the time. She had “turned her life around” and was in the best position (had the most available time) to care for him. This is all fine and good, however, my sister chooses to experience life with drama that makes reality TV look like a Saturday morning cartoon.
I use numerous skills to avoid judging her chosen path and try instead to focus on gratitude. I feel very grateful because she does take amazing care of my Dad. But, the extraneous, off-the-wall issues that go with her territory make the obligation to my Dad a lot more challenging.
When the arrangement began, it was nothing short of a nightmare, one that affected my life immensely. It took much support from my family and constant navigation of solid boundaries to get through the tough times. But, things did eventually get better.
When faced with tough “obligations,” at what point do you say “enough is enough” or, “this is my responsibility and I’ve got this?”
Determining this takes a lot of introspection, self-evaluation, and oftentimes a major shift in perspective. Questions that helped me gain clarity included: Why am I doing this (I wasn’t afraid to go deep)? Does this inspire me or suck the life out of me? Do I have good boundaries in place?
I made a promise to my Dad. And, although the circumstances I agreed to were different, my promise to him was not. I continue to fulfill this promise not out of obligation but because I love my Dad dearly.
What drives you to maintain your promises, responsibilities, or obligations? Is doing so still right for you?
Lori Kuhn and Judy Dejno discuss today’s article on Facebook Live
Playing With The Author ~ Lori Kuhn
I’m one of those people who have a natural propensity to help others. My passion in life is to see others thrive. Because of this inclination, my responsibilities pile up quickly. Therefore, I know how easy it is to feel overwhelmed by too many “obligations” and losesight of my true desires. Taking a few moments to reflect on why I’m doing things helps to keep me in flow and focused.
Contact me at lori@thrivehumancapital.com
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